Its going to happen..True Love

When finding True Love seems like a nightmare, all I say to myself,

''Darling, be with someone who makes you feel safe. Someone you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to and they won’t judge you. Someone you trust not to give up on you when the going gets tough. Someone whose affection towards you never wavers whether things are going smoothly or when he’s facing a crisis.
 

There is no malice in his words when he talks to you, no sarcasm in his remarks, and no intention to hurt you. He won’t belittle you in your abilities. He won’t insult your looks and body. He won’t use you for his selfish purposes.
He strives to be the light in your life, the love in your heart, and the forever you believe in. He makes the effort when it comes to you.
 

Fall in love with someone you can trust your heart with and who you know you can always count on. He knows you are who he’s looking for and he’s certain of his feelings for you.
You are the only one he wants to know and the only girl in his heart. He kisses your tears away tenderly and encourages you to pick yourself up and try again. He heals the fragmented pieces of your heart by loving you with his whole heart. Love someone who makes love seem easy.
 

He doesn’t play mind games with you or deceive your feelings. He doesn’t switch into a completely different person every time you see him, so much so, that you won’t know which version of him is real. He makes you forget about all the insignificant things like who should text first and to refrain from appearing too interested. Believe someone who makes you believe in love. Not the diluted, cheapened, half-love that modern dating has us believing to be true. The kind of big love that is every bit as magical as you believe it to be. The best friend type of love when you know each other as well as you know yourself. The soulmate love when you find and choose each other to fall in love with and be together against all obstacles.
 

The love that comes once in a lifetime''.

I ain't oversensitive my Love.

I’m not overly sensitive, I just give a damn.
 

I’ll feel those “harmless jokes” in the pit of my stomach. I will cry until I can’t breathe whenever we fight because I cannot handle the way you look at me when you’re mad. I’ll see problems where they don’t exist; I’ll deeply feel the miles between us when you turn over to sleep at night.
 

I will forgive but never forget, I don’t know how to. Why am I like this?

Well, love.. I am made of fire - I am wild and a little out of control and sometimes I burn so fiercely, it pushes people away. But only because I hold so much of life’s disappointments inside me, only because I care too much, I feel too much and I want that to be my strength, not my weakness.
 

I care if you dislike a part of who I am – even if that part is selfish or impatient or too much, I want you to love it. I care if we fight and I hurt you – I’ll try to fix it. I will try to be better, I’ll go over and over it until I am able. I'll try to be the best of the version you have ever loved. But how do I give up being me? I can not.
 

I’ll be stung if your comments hit too close to that place which is not enough and I will forever wish I could be perfect. I am only human- someone who has been ridiculed for too much of my life, who has loved fiercely, chased her dreams recklessly and failed more than she would care to admit.
 

So maybe I do become poisonous when someone hits a nerve, maybe I shed too many tears over life’s disappointments and pain.
But I do not wish to be a disappointment, I wish to be just different. I do not wish to build a wall around my heart, to stop feeling everything so intensely because you feel it is too much. But that is the only way that makes sense to me; to dive right in, to be vulnerable and raw and honest. To open myself up to everything this world has to offer, even if it’s scary as hell, even if I regret it or curse my stars. But I know i am made for better and tougher things. That's me.
 

So do not call me “overly sensitive” when I cry during an argument or when I become overwhelmed by life’s hurdles. Do not mock me for wearing my heart on my sleeve or worrying and stressing over problems I cannot solve.
Because I am not overly sensitive, I just give a damn. Also because the people who give a damn or wear their heart on their sleeves are my kind people, my favorite. They are the best. They are refreshing. They give me hope. To be sensitive and give a damn. 

I Forgive You.

Forgiveness is powerful.
 

But sometimes in love and relationships, we forgive the wrong people. Sometimes we’re tied closely to people who hurt us, and we think that we must forgive them to move forward, to save a relationship, to fix what has been torn apart, to give ourselves closure.

But hey, listen..

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you allow them a free passage back into your heart. It doesn’t mean that you open the doors to your life and give them the key.
 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to keep that person in your life. Yes, you can forgive someone for cheating. You can forgive someone for breaking your heart. You can forgive someone for abandoning you in a time of need, for walking away, for not putting you first, for letting you go.But that doesn’t mean you need to trust that person again.
 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re obligated to stay in a relationship with someone who has destroyed the foundation of everything you’ve built. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you keep a close friendship with the person who betrayed you. Forgiveness isn't about killing yourself in the name of letting someone screw you over again and again and you keep letting their mistakes go, forgive them. Forgiveness so not is the name for letting yourself be taken for granted.

Forgiveness means you accept what wrongs have been done to you, you let them go, and you begin again — with or without that person. You get to decide. Yes, you get to decide, and you are not any less of a person for knowing when you need distance from people who have broken you. You are not spiteful, hateful, bad, or evil for taking some time to heal. You are not wrong for forgiving and leaving that person in your past.
 

So please do not think forgiveness means you must stay.
 

Please, remember your worth, and know that you deserve a love that doesn’t leave. A love that even if is at fault, would know the worth of your forgiveness and promise to cherish it for times to come. You are worth a relationship that is beyond the petty issues of life and looks beyond. A relationship that makes you feel what you are, from within too; doesn't believe in false pretences. A relationship that gives you strength. Strength enough to let go, move on, and to grow. As forgiving someone does not make you weak, it gives you strength.

Dear Me..

                       To my inner self
 

I am sorry for not always standing up for you.
 

I’m sorry I let you think that at times you weren’t enough. I’m sorry I let you believe that you needed to change. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you that you didn’t need to be like anyone else. I’m sorry that I allowed you to be afraid of yourself; to be afraid of living life authentically. I’m so sorry that I let you fear yourself.I’m sorry that I allowed you to believe that your worth was determined by the number of people who liked you and by the grades you received on your report card.
 

I am sorry that I didn’t stop you from hiding in the shadows. I’m sorry I didn’t encourage you to instead let your voice be heard. I’m sorry I prevented you from living loudly and freely. I’m sorry I never told you that you were enough, or that you were whole and complete.
I’m sorry.
 

Although it might not seem like much, I can promise you that I am here now. I promise that I will do my very best to make up for all of the times I didn’t take care of you in the ways that I should have. But I do hope you understand that I was trying; that I never stopped trying. I always had faith in you.
 

I hope you know that I never intentionally put you down or tried to hurt you. I hope you know that despite how I may have treated you, you have still lived a beautiful life this far. You have still been compassionate and courageous, and free in your own incredible ways. I hope you know that no matter what mistakes I made, I will always look back on your life with nothing but fondness and pride.
 

But from today and on, I promise that I will support you. I promise that we will finally be on the same team.I promise that I will tell you that you are valuable and that for the most part, I will truly believe it.
 

From today on I will raise you up higher than I ever have before, and when you fall down, I will not let you stay down. I will lift you back up, again, and again, and again. From today and on, I will be your friend. I will make sure you go to sleep without that sad face and deep though lines as I will answer all your questions. I will make sure that smile grows just wider and there is never a dull moment in your life again. 

I am there for you. Now and forever.