Its going to happen..True Love

When finding True Love seems like a nightmare, all I say to myself,

''Darling, be with someone who makes you feel safe. Someone you can tell your deepest darkest secrets to and they won’t judge you. Someone you trust not to give up on you when the going gets tough. Someone whose affection towards you never wavers whether things are going smoothly or when he’s facing a crisis.
 

There is no malice in his words when he talks to you, no sarcasm in his remarks, and no intention to hurt you. He won’t belittle you in your abilities. He won’t insult your looks and body. He won’t use you for his selfish purposes.
He strives to be the light in your life, the love in your heart, and the forever you believe in. He makes the effort when it comes to you.
 

Fall in love with someone you can trust your heart with and who you know you can always count on. He knows you are who he’s looking for and he’s certain of his feelings for you.
You are the only one he wants to know and the only girl in his heart. He kisses your tears away tenderly and encourages you to pick yourself up and try again. He heals the fragmented pieces of your heart by loving you with his whole heart. Love someone who makes love seem easy.
 

He doesn’t play mind games with you or deceive your feelings. He doesn’t switch into a completely different person every time you see him, so much so, that you won’t know which version of him is real. He makes you forget about all the insignificant things like who should text first and to refrain from appearing too interested. Believe someone who makes you believe in love. Not the diluted, cheapened, half-love that modern dating has us believing to be true. The kind of big love that is every bit as magical as you believe it to be. The best friend type of love when you know each other as well as you know yourself. The soulmate love when you find and choose each other to fall in love with and be together against all obstacles.
 

The love that comes once in a lifetime''.

I ain't oversensitive my Love.

I’m not overly sensitive, I just give a damn.
 

I’ll feel those “harmless jokes” in the pit of my stomach. I will cry until I can’t breathe whenever we fight because I cannot handle the way you look at me when you’re mad. I’ll see problems where they don’t exist; I’ll deeply feel the miles between us when you turn over to sleep at night.
 

I will forgive but never forget, I don’t know how to. Why am I like this?

Well, love.. I am made of fire - I am wild and a little out of control and sometimes I burn so fiercely, it pushes people away. But only because I hold so much of life’s disappointments inside me, only because I care too much, I feel too much and I want that to be my strength, not my weakness.
 

I care if you dislike a part of who I am – even if that part is selfish or impatient or too much, I want you to love it. I care if we fight and I hurt you – I’ll try to fix it. I will try to be better, I’ll go over and over it until I am able. I'll try to be the best of the version you have ever loved. But how do I give up being me? I can not.
 

I’ll be stung if your comments hit too close to that place which is not enough and I will forever wish I could be perfect. I am only human- someone who has been ridiculed for too much of my life, who has loved fiercely, chased her dreams recklessly and failed more than she would care to admit.
 

So maybe I do become poisonous when someone hits a nerve, maybe I shed too many tears over life’s disappointments and pain.
But I do not wish to be a disappointment, I wish to be just different. I do not wish to build a wall around my heart, to stop feeling everything so intensely because you feel it is too much. But that is the only way that makes sense to me; to dive right in, to be vulnerable and raw and honest. To open myself up to everything this world has to offer, even if it’s scary as hell, even if I regret it or curse my stars. But I know i am made for better and tougher things. That's me.
 

So do not call me “overly sensitive” when I cry during an argument or when I become overwhelmed by life’s hurdles. Do not mock me for wearing my heart on my sleeve or worrying and stressing over problems I cannot solve.
Because I am not overly sensitive, I just give a damn. Also because the people who give a damn or wear their heart on their sleeves are my kind people, my favorite. They are the best. They are refreshing. They give me hope. To be sensitive and give a damn. 

I Forgive You.

Forgiveness is powerful.
 

But sometimes in love and relationships, we forgive the wrong people. Sometimes we’re tied closely to people who hurt us, and we think that we must forgive them to move forward, to save a relationship, to fix what has been torn apart, to give ourselves closure.

But hey, listen..

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you allow them a free passage back into your heart. It doesn’t mean that you open the doors to your life and give them the key.
 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to keep that person in your life. Yes, you can forgive someone for cheating. You can forgive someone for breaking your heart. You can forgive someone for abandoning you in a time of need, for walking away, for not putting you first, for letting you go.But that doesn’t mean you need to trust that person again.
 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re obligated to stay in a relationship with someone who has destroyed the foundation of everything you’ve built. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you keep a close friendship with the person who betrayed you. Forgiveness isn't about killing yourself in the name of letting someone screw you over again and again and you keep letting their mistakes go, forgive them. Forgiveness so not is the name for letting yourself be taken for granted.

Forgiveness means you accept what wrongs have been done to you, you let them go, and you begin again — with or without that person. You get to decide. Yes, you get to decide, and you are not any less of a person for knowing when you need distance from people who have broken you. You are not spiteful, hateful, bad, or evil for taking some time to heal. You are not wrong for forgiving and leaving that person in your past.
 

So please do not think forgiveness means you must stay.
 

Please, remember your worth, and know that you deserve a love that doesn’t leave. A love that even if is at fault, would know the worth of your forgiveness and promise to cherish it for times to come. You are worth a relationship that is beyond the petty issues of life and looks beyond. A relationship that makes you feel what you are, from within too; doesn't believe in false pretences. A relationship that gives you strength. Strength enough to let go, move on, and to grow. As forgiving someone does not make you weak, it gives you strength.

Dear Me..

                       To my inner self
 

I am sorry for not always standing up for you.
 

I’m sorry I let you think that at times you weren’t enough. I’m sorry I let you believe that you needed to change. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you that you didn’t need to be like anyone else. I’m sorry that I allowed you to be afraid of yourself; to be afraid of living life authentically. I’m so sorry that I let you fear yourself.I’m sorry that I allowed you to believe that your worth was determined by the number of people who liked you and by the grades you received on your report card.
 

I am sorry that I didn’t stop you from hiding in the shadows. I’m sorry I didn’t encourage you to instead let your voice be heard. I’m sorry I prevented you from living loudly and freely. I’m sorry I never told you that you were enough, or that you were whole and complete.
I’m sorry.
 

Although it might not seem like much, I can promise you that I am here now. I promise that I will do my very best to make up for all of the times I didn’t take care of you in the ways that I should have. But I do hope you understand that I was trying; that I never stopped trying. I always had faith in you.
 

I hope you know that I never intentionally put you down or tried to hurt you. I hope you know that despite how I may have treated you, you have still lived a beautiful life this far. You have still been compassionate and courageous, and free in your own incredible ways. I hope you know that no matter what mistakes I made, I will always look back on your life with nothing but fondness and pride.
 

But from today and on, I promise that I will support you. I promise that we will finally be on the same team.I promise that I will tell you that you are valuable and that for the most part, I will truly believe it.
 

From today on I will raise you up higher than I ever have before, and when you fall down, I will not let you stay down. I will lift you back up, again, and again, and again. From today and on, I will be your friend. I will make sure you go to sleep without that sad face and deep though lines as I will answer all your questions. I will make sure that smile grows just wider and there is never a dull moment in your life again. 

I am there for you. Now and forever.

Apology not Accepted!

To the ones who apologize too much.

To the ones who are tired of apologizing for their sensitivity. The ones who have to say sorry for overreacting or getting emotional. The ones who push people away because they care too much about them. The ones who get hurt when someone looks the other way, when someone ignores their message, when someone doesn’t smile back.
 

I’m sorry. I’m sorry you live in a world that doesn’t understand you. I’m sorry that you live in a world that doesn’t realize how much it needs you, because you give people hope and you remind people that it’s okay to real, soft and vulnerable. You remind people that it’s okay to be a non-perfect human being. You remind people that needing someone is not weakness, but strength.

I am sorry for ones who are tired of apologizing for their vulnerability. The ones who show too much too soon. The ones who can’t help but tell people how much they love them and what they’re willing to do for them. The ones who believe that people can change, that people can heal, that people just need the right kind of love to be the best versions of themselves.

I am sorry that you feel so much and how I know? Because I am one of you. And after being sorry for all my life, I have understood one thing that Don’t ever apologize for being you. Ever. Don’t apologize for someone not liking you as you did not please their eyes. Do not say sorry for being different because that is why you were sent on this planet, to be different, to look different, to feel differently.

Don’t let the world change you. Because the ones who point are also not sure what they want, what they are doing with their lives. Don’t let heartbreak make you guarded. Heart is meant to love and to be broken for you to love yet again, with more courage and more warmth. So, Keep loving. Keep giving. Keep saying what you want to say because life is too short to keep important words unsaid.

I still don’t have the answer. I still don’t know why people like you are suffering. I still don’t understand how your kindness and your authenticity is working against you but I know that a lot of people are watching you. I know that a lot of people secretly want to be you. I know that the people who criticize you also admire you. I know that you’re an inspiration to those around you. And maybe the world is too hard on you because you’re someone people look up to and they want to know that you’ll keep on fighting. They want to know you’ll keep on trying, you’ll keep on building your own life with as many hardships and carving your own path because that’s what makes you special. That’s what makes you extraordinary— your ability to live when everything around you is killing you. Your ability to smile when the world is crashing around you and you have no clue how to react. You are built to work hard and not take easy credits. 

So what if your destination isn’t as fancy as you once hoped for. For someone told me that the destination becomes way more exciting when you enjoy the journey with the same enthusiasm. 

So, gear up for this Journey called life as no matter what we believe in, we just get one chance and this is it. Make something beautiful out of it, something extraordinary, something like You.

My Lifelines.

When you’ve been best friends with someone forever, there comes a time when you move to different states, go to different schools, and sometimes lose touch. But when you return, you’re still as weird and dysfunctional as ever before.
When you’ve been friends with someone forever, you don’t even need to get to the punchline anymore, they’re already laughing. You really do start acting like an old married couple. You’re not afraid to bicker, and honestly, you’re probably too attached to each other to stay mad for long.
When you’ve been friends with someone forever, you get comfortable with silence, arguably the most awesome aspect of any relationship. You can go on trips together or even just hang out without feeling like you need to fill every second with words.
We all know that the Whatsapp posts get uglier as the friendship deepens, but people who have been friends for years take it to a new, grossly indescribable level.
When you’ve been friends with someone forever, you’ve stopped keeping tabs on who owes who what in terms of drinks bought and money spent. At the end of the day your only thought is “eh, it’ll probably even itself out eventually.’’
 

When you’ve been friends with someone forever, you’re the one that their significant other really has to win over.
 

Truthfully, when you’ve been friends with someone forever, they have literally been your therapist for too many years to count. They are always there for you. Always.
And now, you’re living that part of life when you’re starting to do the things you always sat in your room and talked about doing, like getting jobs and getting married, and though it’s crazy bittersweet, it’s crazier that they’re still here to witness it just as you spoke about it before. They are still here to talk you into or out of a relationship. You wait for them to have kids and you want to love them more than anything on this earth. 

Such friendships have made me what I am today and I hope to cherish them for years to come.

love you guys! 

Helo Beautiful!!

She was young and talented. Being born and brought up in a well-educated family and herself went to the best of schools and now college. she was going to become a doctor and make her family proud. Being around brothers and guy friends, most of her life, she had got that ‘tom-boy’ touch in her tone, walk and at times, thought. But in the end, she was a girl. A girl who loves clothes, shoes, loves accessories and loves shopping. Now she may sound like a very stereotypical character to you but that’s the truth. I am not going to talk about anything like shopping and clothes here of course. What I want to talk about is the shallow concept of beauty that our society preaches.

She was just 19, teenage. The age when girls are in the most beautiful phase of their life. They groom themselves to grow into stunning a woman, later in life. But she was far off from that world. She was busy playing basketball or cricket in bright daylights, careless about the tan her skin would develop. She was careless and free and happy. No shackles of this shallow society had worn her down. She was careless and beautiful, in her own chubby way.

Yes, she was fat. Now she did not grow up being fat but the burden of studies to get into a Med school and lack of physical activity because of time shortage, led her to put on weight. So when she went to college, she was fat. Her friends pointed out that her collar bone wasn’t visible. That Is how fat she was. She would hide her curves under those baggy jeans and t-shirts ad she had become conscious of the way she looked. Conscious how people looked or did not look at her. She was with living with girls who were not ‘fat’ and were pretty. Now she was far from hiding her real self with makeup and pretend to look like someone she was not. Someone she could not relate herself with. So she struggled her way through in that world of pretty girls. Fair skin, slim and tall; that is what defined ‘pretty’ back then. Even today it does. nothing has changed. So she was far from being ‘pretty’.

He was her senior in college. And not that he was a good looking guy to die for or anything of that sort, but she liked him. She was crushing big time. Her friends would tell her that he wasn’t worth someone like me as he wasn’t a nice guy or whatever. But she liked him. Would wait till late nights in the library, for him to finish reading, sitting on the table right across him, but never got noticed. She would wait for him to finish reading so that at least she would get a chance to walk out with him. All this was happening but she could not gather the courage to go up to him and say HI! The senior girls in her hostel got to know about her crushing and so they would taunt her in and out, day and night. She was too naïve to know what was the big deal. So one day, she decides to go and talk to Him and tell him that she liked him. But least did she know that her life was going to change, forever and for good. His arrogant friend told her to stay away from Him and just try to look at her reflection in the mirror. ‘’you are fat and ugly. Why would any guy even look at you?’’. There. There it was. The cruelest reflection she had ever seen. She was devastated. Not that just her heart was broken, but crushed. 

This was somewhere in 2006. Over 11 years and minus 30 kilos, made her able enough to be called ‘pretty’. And God, now she knows it in her bones that she is pretty. It was not that she wasn’t pretty back then, she was. But the constant pokes and reminder by the society that she was not ‘good looking’, made her live with wrong beliefs. though it worked in her favor and she took that as her driving force, to be who she is today. ‘Slim, fair and a Head turner’. She believes she is and god forbid, do not try to even make her believe the other way because she is way stronger too. psychologically and physically.

Did you see how societal prejudices and believes changed her? She wasn’t worth liking even as she was ‘FAT’ and ‘UGLY’. Yes. Those were the words said right to her face. And those were the words that have now made her shallow. She believes in looks herself. No matter how nice the opposite sex is, she believes and advocates that how is one supposed to go forth and try liking the others nature when the exterior/looks are something you are not happy with? She has become like this. And why not? If the so called ‘superior’ male has the choice, then why not her? And who made her such? The society. The society that we are living in. You got to a dating app and till the time you do no out up a picture with filters on to make you look ‘fair and pretty’, you would not get any one’s attention. Matrimonial sites. Till the time the adjectives ‘fair, slim, tall and beautiful’ are not inserted in that profile of yours, no suitable match would come your way and even if they do, the parents end up paying huge dowries in replacement of their daughters ‘not being pretty’. Because no matter how not so good looking the Groom/Boyfriend is, the Bride/Girlfriend should be all of that above. And if the girl is tall or wide shoulders, then again it’s a challenge to find a ‘match’. So how do we really fit in this definition of ‘pretty/beautiful’ set by the world?

The one thing that comes to my mind now are these beautiful set of lines from ‘Broken Flowers’ by R.M. Drake:

‘’And now they have almost all the women believing that they are not enough, because they want the women to believe that their minds and hearts are not beautiful. That only their bodies can be appreciated and loved, but I tell my fellow string women this; you are more than just a pretty face, your mind is gold and your heart is where the diamonds lie. It is just, most people do not want to put enough effort to find what truly makes you beautiful. And to be honest, this is another thing they don’t tell you: you are goddam work of art and you do not need some asshole art dealer to tell you your worth because I know your value, you are a priceless baby, and I just want you to see that for yourself. That is all.’’