Helo Beautiful!!

She was young and talented. Being born and brought up in a well-educated family and herself went to the best of schools and now college. she was going to become a doctor and make her family proud. Being around brothers and guy friends, most of her life, she had got that ‘tom-boy’ touch in her tone, walk and at times, thought. But in the end, she was a girl. A girl who loves clothes, shoes, loves accessories and loves shopping. Now she may sound like a very stereotypical character to you but that’s the truth. I am not going to talk about anything like shopping and clothes here of course. What I want to talk about is the shallow concept of beauty that our society preaches.

She was just 19, teenage. The age when girls are in the most beautiful phase of their life. They groom themselves to grow into stunning a woman, later in life. But she was far off from that world. She was busy playing basketball or cricket in bright daylights, careless about the tan her skin would develop. She was careless and free and happy. No shackles of this shallow society had worn her down. She was careless and beautiful, in her own chubby way.

Yes, she was fat. Now she did not grow up being fat but the burden of studies to get into a Med school and lack of physical activity because of time shortage, led her to put on weight. So when she went to college, she was fat. Her friends pointed out that her collar bone wasn’t visible. That Is how fat she was. She would hide her curves under those baggy jeans and t-shirts ad she had become conscious of the way she looked. Conscious how people looked or did not look at her. She was with living with girls who were not ‘fat’ and were pretty. Now she was far from hiding her real self with makeup and pretend to look like someone she was not. Someone she could not relate herself with. So she struggled her way through in that world of pretty girls. Fair skin, slim and tall; that is what defined ‘pretty’ back then. Even today it does. nothing has changed. So she was far from being ‘pretty’.

He was her senior in college. And not that he was a good looking guy to die for or anything of that sort, but she liked him. She was crushing big time. Her friends would tell her that he wasn’t worth someone like me as he wasn’t a nice guy or whatever. But she liked him. Would wait till late nights in the library, for him to finish reading, sitting on the table right across him, but never got noticed. She would wait for him to finish reading so that at least she would get a chance to walk out with him. All this was happening but she could not gather the courage to go up to him and say HI! The senior girls in her hostel got to know about her crushing and so they would taunt her in and out, day and night. She was too naïve to know what was the big deal. So one day, she decides to go and talk to Him and tell him that she liked him. But least did she know that her life was going to change, forever and for good. His arrogant friend told her to stay away from Him and just try to look at her reflection in the mirror. ‘’you are fat and ugly. Why would any guy even look at you?’’. There. There it was. The cruelest reflection she had ever seen. She was devastated. Not that just her heart was broken, but crushed. 

This was somewhere in 2006. Over 11 years and minus 30 kilos, made her able enough to be called ‘pretty’. And God, now she knows it in her bones that she is pretty. It was not that she wasn’t pretty back then, she was. But the constant pokes and reminder by the society that she was not ‘good looking’, made her live with wrong beliefs. though it worked in her favor and she took that as her driving force, to be who she is today. ‘Slim, fair and a Head turner’. She believes she is and god forbid, do not try to even make her believe the other way because she is way stronger too. psychologically and physically.

Did you see how societal prejudices and believes changed her? She wasn’t worth liking even as she was ‘FAT’ and ‘UGLY’. Yes. Those were the words said right to her face. And those were the words that have now made her shallow. She believes in looks herself. No matter how nice the opposite sex is, she believes and advocates that how is one supposed to go forth and try liking the others nature when the exterior/looks are something you are not happy with? She has become like this. And why not? If the so called ‘superior’ male has the choice, then why not her? And who made her such? The society. The society that we are living in. You got to a dating app and till the time you do no out up a picture with filters on to make you look ‘fair and pretty’, you would not get any one’s attention. Matrimonial sites. Till the time the adjectives ‘fair, slim, tall and beautiful’ are not inserted in that profile of yours, no suitable match would come your way and even if they do, the parents end up paying huge dowries in replacement of their daughters ‘not being pretty’. Because no matter how not so good looking the Groom/Boyfriend is, the Bride/Girlfriend should be all of that above. And if the girl is tall or wide shoulders, then again it’s a challenge to find a ‘match’. So how do we really fit in this definition of ‘pretty/beautiful’ set by the world?

The one thing that comes to my mind now are these beautiful set of lines from ‘Broken Flowers’ by R.M. Drake:

‘’And now they have almost all the women believing that they are not enough, because they want the women to believe that their minds and hearts are not beautiful. That only their bodies can be appreciated and loved, but I tell my fellow string women this; you are more than just a pretty face, your mind is gold and your heart is where the diamonds lie. It is just, most people do not want to put enough effort to find what truly makes you beautiful. And to be honest, this is another thing they don’t tell you: you are goddam work of art and you do not need some asshole art dealer to tell you your worth because I know your value, you are a priceless baby, and I just want you to see that for yourself. That is all.’’